Redneck Forums

Go Navy!

TedB — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:07:48 GMT

LITTLE KNOWN NAVAL HISTORY

The U.S.S. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel,

carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i..e. fresh water distillers!).

However, let it be noted that according to her ship's log,

"On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."

Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping."

Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.

Then she headed for the Azores , arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships, salvaging only the rum aboard each.

By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.

The U.S.S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February, 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum,

no wine, no whisky, and 38,600 gallons of water.

GO NAVY!!

Forum: Jokes - Other

Live Messenger sending messages to my Cell phone

EnlistedMan1 — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:48:19 GMT

Hey Ted,
When I am not online in live messenger and my friends instant message me in live the messages go to my cell phone as text messages. Its annoying because I pay per message. How do I stop it.
E1

Forum: TKC - Computer Support

S.H.I.T.

EnlistedMan1 — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 02:49:42 GMT

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: MANAGEMENT
RE: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Forum: Jokes - Other

Testicle Therapy

TedB — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 02:35:23 GMT

Testicle Therapy

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in
horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the
next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his
hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll
around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to
apologize.  'Please!!!! Please!!!! allow me to help. I'm a  Physical Therapist and I
know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still  clasping his hands together at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for  several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?

He replied: It feels great, but I think my thumb's still broken.......

Forum: Jokes - Other

Exchange Server question

Compuman — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:48:49 GMT

Got a call from a person that was setting up Outlook on a new computer that the company had recently purchased. Person accidentally hit Exchange server instead of Pop3 for setting up the email. Now he can't delete the profile so that he can set up the account the correct way. Question is " How do you delete the Exchange Server profile."

Thanks for your reply

Forum: TKC - Computer Support

Redneck Jokes - Rated PI (Politically Incorrect)

TedB — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 19:56:51 GMT

Highly Illogical

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.

"What's logic?" asked Bubba.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-whacker?"

"I sure do," answered the redneck.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZIN'!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why, that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of! I cain't wait to take this here logic class."

Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.

"So, what classes are ya takin?" he asks.

"Math, history and logic," replies Bubba.

Cooter says, "What in tarnation is logic?"

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"

"No."

"You're a queer, ain't ya?"

Forum: Jokes - Redneck

Redneck Jokes - Rated G

TedB — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 19:54:54 GMT

A redneck taped paper to his television...

A redneck taped toilet paper to his television.

He said, "Hey, lookie here, now we have free paper view!"

Forum: Jokes - Redneck

Review: Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

TedB — Thur, 05 Feb 2009 03:58:08 GMT

Into The Wild
by Jon Krakauer
Published by Anchor, 1997
ISBN-10: 0385486804
ISBN-13: 978-0385486804

Well, this is literally only the 4th book in my life I have read as much for entertainment as for learning. It was both entertaining and educational.

It is the story of a young, stubborn, bull headed idealist who no doubt would have become a philosopher of sorts if he had lived.

Christopher Johnson McCandless graduated college gave the contents of his savings account ($25,000) to charity, abandoned most of his worldly possessions burned the cash in his wallet and set out to live life, to experience it in all its wonders, to conquer it or something in himself. He traveled from Mexico to Alaska, from Desert to Snow Pack and I believe from boy to man. He lived mostly off the land even in Alaska (not an easiest thing to do.) and in the end made had it not been for a few simple mistakes he would have returned to society the better for his travels but in life sometimes one thing leads to another and so it was for Chris McCandless. I would have liked to have known him. The book is an amazing account of his live and the best ideas of the tragic days and circumstances that led up to his death.

It's an awesome piece of work and the research that must have been needed to create it would be a life work for some people. A very worthy read. Congratulation Jon Krakauer on a job well done.

Next review will be Walden, by David Henry Thoreau. Thanks for the idea, Jon, Chris and Alex.

Forum: Book and Movie Reviews

Making .223 Rem Ammo

TedB — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 03:13:56 GMT

This is awesome, .223Rem Jacketed bullets created from .22 LR empty brass.

http://www.shootingtimes.com/ammunition/st_223short_200711/index.html

Forum: Rifles, Pistols and Loads

READ BEFORE POSTING - FORUM RULES!!

TedB — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:26:55 GMT

These are the rules, I dislike some of them as much as the rest of you. But If I want to stay out of jail this is the way it has to be.

1.) No Guns or other survival gear - This is the COMPUTER FOR SALE FORUM for Techkc.com. Here we sell computer and computer related equipment only.
2.) Nothing Stolen - Daaa - If its hot, you know it and you have it then your a crook, get out!
3.) Keep it legal, No Pirate Software, No Porn etc. If your the seller make sure your item is legal to sell where you live, If your the buyer make sure its legal to buy or recieve where you live. These are your responsibilities don't depend on others to do it for you.
4.) Neither Multico LLC or any of its companys take any responsibility in any way for items sold in this forum. Sales and Use Taxes, Warranties if any, Legal matters etc. are all the responsibilities of the individuals taking part in the tranaction. By using this forum you agree that you have met and will abide by all the rules above and agree to hold harmless Multico LLC, TechKC.com, USRNSF, USRNSF Outfitters and all parties related to the management and operation of the same from any legal action of any kind with regard to items and transactions conducted through or utilizing this forum in any way. Your use of this forum constitutes your agreement to adhere to the rules and policies provided.

Forum: TKC - For Sale - Computer

Read before posting - Survival Gear For Sale - Forum Rules

TedB — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:19:26 GMT

These are the rules, I dislike some of them as much as the rest of you. But If I want to stay out of jail this is the way it has to be.

1.) No Guns except those that will be transferred through a licensed dealer following all applicable laws. If you are not going to transfer it legally, through a legitimate and licensed dealer and following the letter of the law. Then don't advertise it here.
2.) Nothing Stolen - Daaa - If its hot, you know it and you have it then your a crook not a redneck - get out!
3.) Keep it legal, If your the seller make sure your item is legal to sell where you live, If your the buyer make sure its legal to buy or recieve where you live. These are your responsibilities don't depend on others to do it for you.
4.) Neither Multico LLC or any of its companys take any responsibility in any way for items sold in this forum. Sales and Use Taxes, Warranties if any, Legal matters etc. are all the responsibilities of the individuals taking part in the tranaction. By using this forum you agree that you have met and will abide by all the rules above and agree to hold harmless Multico LLC, TechKC.com, USRNSF, USRNSF Outfitters and all parties related to the management and operation of the same from any legal action of any kind with regard to items and transactions conducted through or utilizing this forum in any way. Your use of this forum constitutes your agreement to adhere to the rules and policies provided.

Forum: For Sale - Survival Gear and Supplies

For Sale Forum Rules - Read before posting!!

TedB — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:13:47 GMT

These are the rules, I dislike some of them as much as the rest of you. But If I want to stay out of jail this is the way it has to be.

1.) No Guns. Guns belong in the survival for sale forum.
2.) Nothing Stolen - Daaa - If its hot, you know it and you have it then your a crook not a redneck - get out!
3.) Keep it legal, If your the seller make sure your item is legal to sell where you live, If your the buyer make sure its legal to buy or recieve where you live. These are your responsibilities don't depend on others to do it for you.
4.) Neither Multico LLC or any of its companys take any responsibility in any way for items sold in this forum. Sales and Use Taxes, Warranties if any, Legal matters etc. are all the responsibilities of the individuals taking part in the tranaction. By using this forum you agree that you have met and will abide by all the rules above and agree to hold harmless Multico LLC, TechKC.com, USRNSF, USRNSF Outfitters and all parties related to the management and operation of the same from any legal action of any kind with regard to items and transactions conducted through or utilizing this forum in any way. Your use of this forum constitutes your agreement to adhere to the rules and policies provided.

Forum: For Sale - Everything Else

Hardtack / Pilot Bread / Survival Bread

TedB — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 19:05:43 GMT

Hardtack / pilot bread / pilot crackers / survival bread
The appear to be largely the same thing so I have given them thier own thread. Find recipes and opinions below.

Forum: Survival Foods and Recipes

What's the best sniper caliber and rifle?

TedB — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 15:19:50 GMT

What't the best sniper caliber and whats the best rifle to send it.

Will it be the most used .308 Win?
What about the long range .50 BMG?
The super accurate .338 Edge?
Maybe the .408 Cheytec? (is it Chetec or Cheytac?)

Who makes the best rifle to deliver the round and which rifle?

So here's a question?

GA Precision "The Rock" ( http://www.gaprecision.net/rock.html)
vs.
Tac Ops "Tango" (http://www.tacticaloperations.com/tangoseries/
vs.
Your favorite one shot one kill weapon.

Forum: Snipers

Review: A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson

TedB — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 16:47:21 GMT

A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

By Bill Bryson

Published by Bantam Books, 2006

ISBN 0307279464, 9780307279460

397 pages

I don't often read for entertainment, I buy books I can thumb through, learn from and come back to reference information when I need it. So it is not often you find me reading a book that people would find entertaining. When I ran onto this book I was looking for information on the Appalachian Trail. THIS BOOK IS ENTERTAINING!! I loved it! I set out to learn about the Appalachian trail and I did, Bill Bryson filled this book with facts and history but at the same time it was loaded with laughs as two old friends who were about as ready for a 2100 Mile hike as a snowman is for July took off for a walk in the woods on the Appalachian Trail. It was educational, it was informative, It was sometimes a little work to read but mostly it was a real ride. I had a ball reading it. Thanks Bill Bryson for a great book.

Forum: Book and Movie Reviews